***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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