$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
