What a fucking waste of an outfit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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