Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize