i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
