Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
