I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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