SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
