don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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