I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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