where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
kristin has been a bad kristin
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize