His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
