The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
