how can u be prego again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
