I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
