If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we should paint friendship bongs
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize