You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
