I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
