She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
