My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
