She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
