even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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