party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Even my vagina gasped.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
