When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
