I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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