i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
