It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
