My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize