Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
