$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
