so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
