i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
