can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
