PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize