So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
