I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
