go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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