Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
