Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
