I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize