I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
