You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
