good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I AM VODKA MAN
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
