i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
