Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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