DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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