girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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