Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize