Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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