I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
