I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Less talking, more tequila
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
