woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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