Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
