mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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