I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
