I hate your face
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Who died my cat blue again?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
