I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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