This girl is more easily done than said...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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