my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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