Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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